Bad Horror Movies

Saving you from bad horror movies

Welcome to Bad Horror Movies

The Bad Horror Movies GuyBad horror movies, we’ve all seen them in the theaters and at home. Rarely do we ever say, “What I’d really like to do is see a bad horror movie tonight.” This is where I come in. If you’re about to watch that movie on Amazon Prime, Hulu, Netflix or buy that special edition, director’s cut with new bonus features maybe I can let you know if it’s worth watching. Because, let’s be honest, what the world needs is another blogger offering his or her unsolicited opinions.

What makes me so qualified to review movies? Glad you asked. First, I have 3 whole years of high school drama. Not only did I actually letter in it, I am a life long Thespian as well. Though I have never acted professionally or amateurly for that matter. I’ve never directed professionally either. But… I was able to predict the total failures, most recently of, God’s of Egypt, Warcraft, Jupiter Ascending, The Legend of Tarzan and The BFG. I saw their failures before even seeing the previews. Watched the previews and just new they were going to bomb. So obviously this makes me like an expert unlike those other hacks that like went to college and studied film and stuff.

So here’s what you need to know about my reviews. Most of the times they are more rant than review. I use foul language that may offend small children, pussies and uptight people with no sense of humor. Most of all you should know that I love horror movies. Good horror movies and bad horror movies. If I shit all over a horror movie, I explain why. I try to give all movies a chance. All horror movies deserve a chance. Especially, the low budget horror movies. And remember, just because I hate it, you might very well love it. My goal is to just give you the heads up. Special note, just because I’ve reviewed it here doesn’t mean I hate it or that it’s a bad horror movie. Many of my reviews are of horror movies that I liked. I don’t just list the bad ones.

Now that I got all that rambling out of the way I hope that I can save you from all those bad horror movies.

  • Objective/Fairness of Reviews 87%
  • Ability To Call Epic Failures 97%
  • Chance of F-Bombs being dropped during a review 99%
  • Number of Positive reviews because I’m crushing on the actress 11%
  • Likelyhood I will stalk… I mean, “follow” her on Twitter 100%

Recent Reviews & Rants

The Walking Dead Season 7 Premier

The Walking Dead Season 7 premier starts off where season 6 ended. Negan has captured Rick and several others. Negan has promised to kill on of Rick’s group in the season 7 premier we sadly discover who was chosen. Director: Greg Nicotero Writers: Greg Nicotero,...

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The Sighting Quick Review

The Sighting takes place a year after seven local students are murdered at a lake house. Two recent high school graduates decide to drive up from Michigan to Canada. They take a shortcut and soon discover the terrifying truth behind one of the worlds most popular...

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Thanatomorphose 2013 Review

Thanatomorphose is about a young woman who wakes up one day showing signs of decay. Thanatomorphose is a French word meaning the visible signs of an organism’s decomposition caused by death. Writer & Director: Éric Falardeau Stars: Kayden Rose, Davyd...

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Deadgirl 2008 A Not So Quick Review

The Deadgirl centers around two less than popular high school kids who find a girl chained to a bed in the basement of an abandoned mental hospital. They soon discover that she cannot die. Directors: Marcel Sarmiento, Gadi Harel Writer: Trent Haaga Stars: Shiloh...

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Demonic 2015 Quick Review

Demonic is the story of 20-somthings that are documenting a haunted house investigation. Things go badly and the police are called into investigate. The detective in charge discovers a sole survivor and calls in a psychologist to help. As they unravel the mystery of...

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The Abandoned 2015 Quick Review

The Abandoned is about a young woman trying to get her life back in order. She takes a job as a security guard during the graveyard shift. It’s her first night working in this beautiful old building. But, the more she learns to about the buildings dark past the...

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The Innkeepers 2011 Quick Review

The Innkeepers is about a two employees working the last weekend before the Inn Closes for good. With only a couple of guests staying for the weekend they decide this is their final chance to do some serious ghost hunting and prove the place is haunted once and for...

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6 Horror and Sci-fi Shows I lost Interest In

There are actually more than 6 horror and sci-fi shows I lost interest in but these are the top that have been on my mind lately. Though I’d like to make it clear that any show featuring aliens or monsters in it I consider them to be part of the horror genre. There...

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Stranger Things 2016 Quick Review

Stranger Things is a Netflix original series centering around a middle school boy who goes missing on his way home after seeing something monstrous and sinister up head of on the road. There’s young mysterious girl on the run and a government agency conducting...

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The Witch 2015 Quick Review

The Witch is about an New-England family that chooses to be become outcasts from their community and move out into the forest where they soon have to fight the forces of evil, black magic and possession. Director: Robert Eggers Writer: Robert Eggers Stars: Anya...

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Bite 2015 Quick Review

Bite 2015 centers around the aftermath of a bachelorette trip getaway. Casey, the bride to be is bitten by an insect during the trip and also has maybe a little too much fun during the trip that has left feeling more than a little bit guilty but also increasingly...

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The Levenger Tapes 2013 Quick Review

The Levenger Tapes centers around 3 college aged kids driving out to the middle of nowhere to stay at a cabin owned by one of their parents. We know this because detectives have found video tapes of the kids. They are forced to watch every minute of the tapes in the...

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Ghostbusters 2016 Review

The Ghostbusters reboot. Following a ghost invasion of Manhattan, paranormal enthusiasts Erin Gilbert and Abby Yates, nuclear engineer Jillian Holtzmann, and subway worker Patty Tolan band together to stop the otherworldly threat. Director: Paul Feig Writer/s: Katie...

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The Dead Room 2015 Quick Review

The Dead Room is about a 3 person team of ghost hunters hired by an insurance company (I think) to investigate the home a family head has recently fled. The team consists of two scientist/skeptics and psychic. Soon the presence makes itself known and 2/3rds of the...

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The Ratings System and Parents

Being a parent of two grown children I’ve learned a lot about the importance of the ratings system. I didn’t get to have a lot of time with my kids during their younger years but I a lot of the times we did get to spend together, we spent watching movies....

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The Boy 2016 Quick Review

The Boy is about a young American woman whose taken a job in the UK as a nanny while the parents go on holiday for the season. All she has to do is follow the rules to keep him happy but this is no ordinary boy. Brahms is a porcelain doll and his parents treat him as...

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Krampus 2015 Quick Review

Krampus is about a suburban family gets together a few days before Christmas and no one seems to have the Christmas spirit except for a boy and his grandmother. The boy inadvertently summons an ancient demon known as Krampus. The demon and his minions go about...

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