Welcome to Bad Horror Movies
Bad horror movies, we’ve all seen them in the theaters and at home. Rarely do we ever say, “What I’d really like to do is see a bad horror movie tonight.” This is where I come in. If you’re about to watch that movie on Amazon Prime, Hulu, Netflix or buy that special edition, director’s cut with new bonus features maybe I can let you know if it’s worth watching. Because, let’s be honest, what the world needs is another blogger offering his or her unsolicited opinions.
What makes me so qualified to review movies? Glad you asked. First, I have 3 whole years of high school drama. Not only did I actually letter in it, I am a life long Thespian as well. Though I have never acted professionally or amateurly for that matter. I’ve never directed professionally either. But… I was able to predict the total failures, most recently of, God’s of Egypt, Warcraft, Jupiter Ascending, The Legend of Tarzan and The BFG. I saw their failures before even seeing the previews. Watched the previews and just new they were going to bomb. So obviously this makes me like an expert unlike those other hacks that like went to college and studied film and stuff.
So here’s what you need to know about my reviews. Most of the times they are more rant than review. I use foul language that may offend small children, pussies and uptight people with no sense of humor. Most of all you should know that I love horror movies. Good horror movies and bad horror movies. If I shit all over a horror movie, I explain why. I try to give all movies a chance. All horror movies deserve a chance. Especially, the low budget horror movies. And remember, just because I hate it, you might very well love it. My goal is to just give you the heads up. Special note, just because I’ve reviewed it here doesn’t mean I hate it or that it’s a bad horror movie. Many of my reviews are of horror movies that I liked. I don’t just list the bad ones.
Now that I got all that rambling out of the way I hope that I can save you from all those bad horror movies.
- Objective/Fairness of Reviews 87%
- Ability To Call Epic Failures 97%
- Chance of F-Bombs being dropped during a review 99%
- Number of Positive reviews because I’m crushing on the actress 11%
- Likelyhood I will stalk… I mean, “follow” her on Twitter 100%
Recent Reviews & Rants
Demonic is the story of 20-somthings that are documenting a haunted house investigation. Things go badly and the police are called into investigate. The detective in charge discovers a sole survivor and calls in a psychologist to help. As they unravel the mystery of...read more
The Abandoned is about a young woman trying to get her life back in order. She takes a job as a security guard during the graveyard shift. It’s her first night working in this beautiful old building. But, the more she learns to about the buildings dark past the...read more
The Innkeepers is about a two employees working the last weekend before the Inn Closes for good. With only a couple of guests staying for the weekend they decide this is their final chance to do some serious ghost hunting and prove the place is haunted once and for...read more
There are actually more than 6 horror and sci-fi shows I lost interest in but these are the top that have been on my mind lately. Though I’d like to make it clear that any show featuring aliens or monsters in it I consider them to be part of the horror genre. There...read more
Stranger Things is a Netflix original series centering around a middle school boy who goes missing on his way home after seeing something monstrous and sinister up head of on the road. There’s young mysterious girl on the run and a government agency conducting...read more
The Witch is about an New-England family that chooses to be become outcasts from their community and move out into the forest where they soon have to fight the forces of evil, black magic and possession. Director: Robert Eggers Writer: Robert Eggers Stars: Anya...read more
Bite 2015 centers around the aftermath of a bachelorette trip getaway. Casey, the bride to be is bitten by an insect during the trip and also has maybe a little too much fun during the trip that has left feeling more than a little bit guilty but also increasingly...read more
The Levenger Tapes centers around 3 college aged kids driving out to the middle of nowhere to stay at a cabin owned by one of their parents. We know this because detectives have found video tapes of the kids. They are forced to watch every minute of the tapes in the...read more
The Ghostbusters reboot. Following a ghost invasion of Manhattan, paranormal enthusiasts Erin Gilbert and Abby Yates, nuclear engineer Jillian Holtzmann, and subway worker Patty Tolan band together to stop the otherworldly threat. Director: Paul Feig Writer/s: Katie...read more
The Last Will and Testament of Rosalind Leigh centers around a guy whose estranged mother has recently past and discovers that she had become involved with a crazy and creepy cult. Her house is filled with religious artifacts and symbols revolving around the cult....read more
The Dead Room is about a 3 person team of ghost hunters hired by an insurance company (I think) to investigate the home a family head has recently fled. The team consists of two scientist/skeptics and psychic. Soon the presence makes itself known and 2/3rds of the...read more
Being a parent of two grown children I’ve learned a lot about the importance of the ratings system. I didn’t get to have a lot of time with my kids during their younger years but I a lot of the times we did get to spend together, we spent watching movies....read more
The Boy is about a young American woman whose taken a job in the UK as a nanny while the parents go on holiday for the season. All she has to do is follow the rules to keep him happy but this is no ordinary boy. Brahms is a porcelain doll and his parents treat him as...read more
Krampus is about a suburban family gets together a few days before Christmas and no one seems to have the Christmas spirit except for a boy and his grandmother. The boy inadvertently summons an ancient demon known as Krampus. The demon and his minions go about...read more
The Other Side of the Door is about a young couple living in India and trying to come to terms with the loss of a child. The mother feels terrible guilt over the loss of her son and is told of an ancient ritual that will allow her to talk to her son one last time to...read more
Sharkansas Women’s Prison Massacre 2016 A Quick Review… Sharkansas Women’s Prison Massacre is about prehistoric sharks that get released from beneath the earth’s crust after fracking accident. The target a group of women that have escaped from...read more
Devil’s Tower 2014 Quick Review… Devil’s Tower is a story about an abused teen who moves into an old apartment complex only to find that some of the inhabitants have gone missing and a vengeful, zombie creating ghost is responsible. Look, I’m...read more
The Zombie Fallout Music Video Teaser Is Here… If you unaware of Zombie Fallout, it’s a series of books written by Mark Tufo. It’s about an ex-marine germaphobe with OCD and his family who all get caught in the zombie apocalypse. The story is fresh,...read more