Don’t Breath 2016 A Quick Review

Don’t Breath 2016 A Quick Review

Don't Breathe Blu-ray Cover

In Don’t Breathe, three college aged burglars decided to break into a blind Vietnam veteran’s home for an easy score but soon discover, there’s nothing about it that is going to be easy.

When I first saw the trailer for Don’t Breathe, I wasn’t that excited to see it. It didn’t look like a horror movie to me, though that’s what it was being sold as. It began to get good reviews and I still wasn’t too interested in seeing it. Then my son saw it with his wife and they enjoyed it. Said it was pretty good. My son isn’t the horror movie fan that I am. My daughter and I share the love of the genre but my son just never got into them. I didn’t know what to think about him liking it. I started to become more interested in it. I ordered the Blu-ray from Amazon, and here we are.

I watched it last night. I was about 20 minutes into watching the Pro Bowl competitions before the game and decided to pause that and watch this instead. I am glad I did. Turns out that I was right in the fact that it isn’t really a horror movie. It’s got a shit-ton of suspense. Don’t Breathe is the perfect title for this film. “Butt Pucker The Movie” might be another title they could have gone with it because there was a whole lot that happening as I watched it. I haven’t seen anything this suspenseful since Silence of the Lambs. In fact, this is more in line with that type of movie than actual horror movies. But, it is what it is as it and I highly recommend Don’t Breathe.

Don't Breathe's Dylan Minnette and Stephen Lang in the hallway.

It starts off almost boring. It tries to add some depth to the two main characters and I wasn’t buying it. Jane Levy’s character Rocky plays a stereo-typical messed up teen/early 20 something from a stereo-typical white trash home. She gives a little speech to the other main character Alex, played by Dylan Minnette. It was all about her father leaving and how horrible her mother is. Her acting wasn’t the problem. She was terrific. The problem was that the film is trying to make me like her. We’ve already seen her break into a house and damage it for no reason as they went along with the burglary. So, I was like, here’s the part where they try to humanize these unlikable people. It didn’t make me give a shit about her character. At least it didn’t at first.

At the beginning of her little speech in the car while casing their next house to burglarize, I saw what she was doing. She wasn’t sharing her past with Alex because she cared about him. She was just telling a story to manipulate him. There was something she wanted from him and she was just using her past as tool to get what she wanted. As the story she told went on, it started to work on me a little. I started to soften, a little towards her. This was more about the writer than the actress. This was brilliantly written. I think what started out as manipulation turned into something deeper as the character continues to tell her story. It was very well written and acted.

I need to digress for a moment here and talk about Jane Levy. I’ve seen her in two films now. I recognized her name when they movie started but I didn’t recognize her until about 20 minutes into the film. She was the brunette lead in Evil Dead. She gave a hint of a look that I saw her give in the Evil Dead remake. She looked so different then. That level character acting amazes me. Some of the biggest stars are pretty much the same person in every movie. Stallone is basically, Stallone in every single movie he does. You know it’s Stallone. You know it’s Schwarzenegger. You know it’s Sean Connery. There’s nothing wrong with that. They are great at what they do. But, in my opinion, the best actors are the ones that can go from role to role and are almost unrecognizable. They seemed to just blend into the character they are portraying. It appears that Jane Levy is that good. I truly look forward to seeing her again. I just hope she doesn’t turn her back on the genre.

Don't Breathe's Jane Levy Crawling Through an Air Shaft

Come out to the coast, we’ll get together, have a few laughs…

Everyone’s performance in Don’t Breathe was good. Stephen “Look at those fucking guns” Lang was amazing in this. Dylan Minette as Alex, the stuck in the friendzone, friend of Rocky was also really well played. Then there was Dylan Zovatto who played Money, the 3rd person in the trio of burglars. I instantly didn’t like his character. I know people like him, I don’t like people him. I don’t care that deep down he may have a heart. I just can’t stand dipshits like him. The funny thing about that was seeing the special features. Dylan is nothing like the character he played. In real life, he looks like a 14-year-old. A really nice guy, it seems. Nothing like he’s douchey character. It was a pleasant surprise to see that he too wasn’t just being himself more or less but was actually acting. Becoming someone he is not. All around great acting in Don’t Breathe.

There’s not really any gore to speak of in Don’t Breathe. It’s not really needed and I should admit that it’s not really needed. This movie has so many other things going for it. I’ve already mentioned the suspense and the acting. But, the most surprising thing about Don’t Breathe to me were the twists and turns. You wouldn’t think going into this movie that there would any real twists. I mean, most of the movie takes place inside a two-story house with a basement. Going into this film, I wondered how they were going to make this movie last 88 minutes. Well, they did a great job of keeping it interesting. And, they did it without pissing the audience off. None of the character’s do anything terribly stupid.

If you’re looking for a good “horror” movie, checkout Don’t Breathe. Suspense, twists and turns, great acting, a lovable dog and a Turkey Baster. What more could anyone ask for?

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Last Shift 2014 Quick Review

Last Shift 2014 Quick Review

Last Shift 2014 Poster Image

Last Shift. It’s Jessica Loren’s first shift as a police officer. She must spend the graveyard shift alone, babysitting the last night of a closing police station. The question becomes, is she really alone?

Last Shift is scary, creepy and interesting. It’s also frustrating and filled with so many, “Don’t fucking do that!” moments that keep it from being a great film. The acting is fine. Juliana Harkavy is totally believable in the role of Jessica Loren, the rookie cop. She’s in every scene and her performance never grows old or stale. The story is also good. It’s just a few of the little things that ruin the overall experience. Just too many times when I grew frustrated at the decisions our young rookie cop made.

The special effect are well done. There are some very nice closeups of the various makeups and they’re all wonderfully gruesome. You don’t see a lot of closeups of the makeup in a lot of lower budget movies because the quality just isn’t there. It’s a lot of quick cuts and the camera keeps its distance from the effect. That’s not the case in Last Shift. Really strong effects done by Lee Grimes.

Creepy Girl | Last Shift

There’s just so much to like about Last Shift. Last Shift also contains some homages to other great films, A Nightmare on Elm Street and The Sixth Sense to name a few. It’s obvious the filmmakers are fans of the genre.

I’m on the bubble here. I think what bothered me were all the slamming doors or the expectation of them. At one point Jessica, the rookie cop gets herself locked in a room. Sort of predictable. Then it’s scene after scene of her walking into other rooms and she seems to have no memory of getting locked in the last room. One would think after that mistake she’d be a little more wary of walking into rooms without making sure the door isn’t going to swing shut again.

Then, there was the ending. I don’t want to give it away but I wasn’t thrilled with it. I liked parts of it. I can’t go into detail without ruining it so I will say, I liked all of it but the finality of it. After you see it, you’ll understand what I am saying.

A good ending can make or break a film. The only exception to that is Titanic. Serious, they kill off the main character for no reason. Then, to top it all off, old Rose throwing that priceless diamond into the ocean and people loved the fucking movie! Brilliant film otherwise. Anyways, Last Shift’s ending just didn’t work for me. I got where the film was going. It just wasn’t the outcome I was looking for. The ending basically said, “You just watched and cared for no reason.” But, I honestly don’t know how the film could have ended any differently.

So I say watch it. Let me know what you thought of the ending. As I write this sentence I’m also at the end of the Last Shift. I always have the movie on as I write these reviews. Maybe it’s me and not the ending. Maybe all that needs to be said about this movie is how I started this review? “Last Shift is scary, creepy and interesting.” When it comes down to it, that’s kinda the point of a horror movie.

To all two and a half fans of this site, it’s on you now. Watch it and tell me what you think.

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Abattoir 2016 Quick Review

Abattoir 2016 Quick Review

Abattoir 2016 on Blu-ray

In Abattoir, an investigative reporter investigates why a good guy one day murders his sisters family. She teams up with a cop and the investigation leads her to learn things she should have left alone.

First, thing that stood out about The Abattoir was the hair and makeup. I know that’s odd for me to say. In the fist scene we meet the the wonderfully talented Jessica Lowndes’ Julia Talben character and her hair and makeup makeup is so 1940’s it just pops out at you. Not that I didn’t like it. It’s just that I think the director was trying to set the tone of those great noir films of the time too hard. In the very next scene we meet a cop played by Joe Anderson and his hat is an obvious throwback to the great fictional detectives of the time. It was just so much that for a moment I was taken out of the film and thought maybe this was set in the 40’s? Then I noticed the desktop top monitor in the background.

Jessica Lowndes in Abattoir with Joe Anderson in the background.

As I mentioned, this wasn’t a bad thing and I liked what it was trying to say about the film. It put me in the mood for a good mystery and that’s exactly what I got. Just think it could have been done more subtly. Aside from that there were no other glaring issues.

There was much to like about Abattoir. A solid mystery and ghost story. Solid acting and as usual Dayton Callie was excellent. I have enjoyed his work greatly since his standout role in Deadwood. He has been acting since the early 80’s. He was even episodes of CSI: Miami, The Practice and NYPD Blue. All shows I watched regularly but Deadwood finally gave him something he could really sink his teeth into as an actor. The whole, cast did a wonderful job in telling this story. And, how could not mention Lyn Shaye. Just awesome in everything.

I don’t recall much gore. I am sure there was some at the murder scenes. Nothing gratuitous. The visual effects were another standout. The last 20 minutes or so especially. And, the house. That could not have been more perfect. That design was outstanding. I think that credit goes to Jennifer Spence, the production designer. Fantastic. Makes sense, the work she has done over the years is incredible. Insidious 2, Lights Out, three Paranormal Activity movies to name a few.

Obviously I am recommending you see Abattoir. I didn’t find it to be too scary. But, it was wasn’t really supposed to be. It is however, very interesting, atmospheric and well worth the watching. A good solid mystery that with visually stunning scenery. And a top notch cast. Very well done. The perfect movie for rainy night in.

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Jessabelle 2014 Quick Review

Jessabelle 2014 Quick Review

Jessabelle 2014 Poster Image

Jessabelle 2014. After barely surviving a horrific car accident Jessie Laurent returns home to Louisiana to stay with her father while she recuperates. She discovers three old VHS tapes left to her by her late mother. They soon reveal that Jessabelle is being haunted and if she wants to survive, she will need to go down a dark path.

I saw Jessabelle about a year ago and what I remember most is how really, really good it was until the end. It wasn’t a bad ending, it didn’t ruin the movie. Just wasn’t the happy ending I was looking for. I would be interested in hearing what others think about it. Great story, good acting, creepy, scary with a solid spooky atmosphere.

The acting was good with a lot of character actors you’re sure to recognize. I don’t recall a bad actor in the bunch. I have Jessabelle on as I write this review and was just reminded of a few of those character actors. The story was strong. There’s a real mystery here. The best ghost stories have them. It’s all about the who and they why. These are the kind of supernatural tales I love the most.

Jessabelle Bathtub Scare Scene

The locations were beautiful. It’s supposed to be set in Louisiana but was filmed in North Carolina. I’ve been to Louisiana several times, never noticed Jessabelle wasn’t really filmed in Louisiana. Still they managed to capture the feel of Louisiana. Jessabele’s father’s house she works as creepy but not over the top. The outdoor scenes don’t disappoint either.

Everything about Jessabelle is well done. If you love a good ghost story, I think you’ll love this one. If you’re looking for some teens have sex and get killed, this isn’t it. Looking for a solid story that is creepy and scary. Watch this. Side note, there’s nothing wrong with horror movies with teens having sex and getting killed. Just saying, if you’re mood for one of the few horror movies that doesn’t involve that, this would be a great choice.

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7 Underrated Horror Movies You Need To See

7 Underrated Horror Movies You Need To See

So many movies to choose to from. Below are 7 underrated horror movies I think you might like too. I started making a list and soon found that there are dozens of underrated horror movies. I narrowed it down to 7 for now. I say for now because I am sure I will make another list soon. With the Halloween season freshly upon us I thought it’s the perfect time to make some seasonal suggestions. Yes, I know there are more than 7 underrated horror movies but I don’t have all damn day to make this list for you. I’ve got a job, responsibilities and 7 isn’t enough for you? You get started on these and get back to me when you’re done. Hopefully, I’ll have new list by then. So here’s the first 7 to get ya started. The following list is in no particular order.

Don’t Blink 2014

Ten people arrive at a secluded mountain resort to find it completely deserted. With no gas for the return trip, the visitors are forced to stay and investigate the mystery surrounding the abandoned lodge. – IMDb

I originally reviewed this movie back in December of 2014. I said that I was on the bubble with this one. So why am I recommending it now. Good question! The answer is that in the almost two years since I last saw this movie I have thought about it often. I found myself recommend it to friends. I would warn them about the ending. And, I will do the same here. This movie is so interesting. It’s not a gorefest, it’s not make you jump in fright kinds film. It’s just wonderfully, interesting in a scary a way. You can’t help but wonder what you would do if was happening to you.

I have said many times that a bad ending can ruin a good movie. This movie would have been great, if they didn’t fuck up the ending. But, I am hoping for a sequel maybe that will someday provide some a why to the whole thing. But, if you liked movies like The Birds, this, in my opinion is even better.

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Frailty 2001

A man confesses to an FBI agent his family’s story of how his religious fanatic father’s visions lead to a series of murders to destroy supposed “demons.” – IMDb

Director: Bill Paxton
Writer: Brent Hanley
Stars: Bill Paxton, Matthew McConaughey, Powers Boothe

Frailty came out way back in 2001 and I saw it on VHS shortly after it was released. I was late to the DVD game. In the early ’80’s I was a Beta guy. I was forced to make the sad jump to VHS. Then it was Laser Discs. When DVD’s came out, I was done. Not wasting my time and money on another fad. But, that’s a rant for another time.

The devout religious scare the hell out of me. And, this movie is about religious fanatic who’s thinks he’s killing demons. I’m not religious at all but I love a good religious story and this movie delivers. It’s creepy, it’s got supernatural stuff going on. And, it’s got some wonderful twists and turns along the way. Not to mention, a spectacular cast. And, something I just remembered, because I just typed it 5 minutes ago, Bill Paxton directed this bad boy. What more could you ask for?!

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Grave Encounters 2011

For their ghost hunting reality show, a production crew locks themselves inside an abandoned mental hospital that’s supposedly haunted – and it might prove to be all too true. -IMDb

It’s been a number of years since I saw Grave Encounters. Here’s what comes to mind when I think about it. Scary. Creepy. Even better if you watch it alone, at night, in the dark. The other thing I think about often is, “There’s a sequel, why haven’t watched it yet?!” I can’t answer that. I want to see it. I guess, I’m just waiting for the right time. As for Grave Encounters, it’s been 4 or 5 years since I saw it and I recall specific moments that were pretty damn scary. So, I have to recommend it to you. If you see it, and don’t like it, let me know about it.

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The Other Side of the Door

After her young son is killed in a tragic accident, a woman learns of a ritual which will bring him back to say goodbye, but when she disobeys a sacred warning, she upsets the balance between life and death. -IMDb

I loved The Other Side of the Door for many reasons. The heartbreaking story, the acting, the ending. I put off watching this movie because one of the things I hate more than anything in horror movies is when a character we’re supposed to care about does stupid things. The preview for this movie starts with a premise. That is, no matter what you do, don’t open the door. We all know, she’s gonna open the fucking door. I hate that.

When I reluctantly sat down to watch this movie I pretty much knew within a few minutes that I was going to the characters lead no matter what. The tragedy she endures makes her breaking the rules, completely understandable. I wanted to be pissed off about it but I kept telling myself, if that was there’s a good chance I’d have done the same thing.

However, the story is so much more than that and the ending, is just one of those ending, that is reminiscent of The Twilight Zone. It’s the emotions that make this movie great. The scares certainly add to it but it’s the heartbreak and the ending that set it apart.

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The Hive 2015

A young man suffering from amnesia must dig deep into the far reaches of his mind to remember who he is and save the love of his life before a virus that has infected him takes over. -IMDb

The Hive has a lot of things going for it for me. It’s not the normal form of story telling. It’s a mystery, a love story and it’s got zombies or I guess “infected”. It turns into a race against time. The story takes some twists and turns along the way that I really enjoyed. I saw several reviews slamming this movie, all I can say, fuck them. This is a solid movie worth watching. I’m guessing the ones who didn’t like it, just didn’t get it. They probably made the mistake of trying to figure shit out instead of just letting the movie unfold.

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The Abandoned

The Abandoned is about a young woman trying to get her life back in order. She takes a job as a security guard during the graveyard shift. It’s her first night working in this beautiful old building. But, the more she learns to about the buildings dark past the further down the rabbit’s hole she goes.

I reviewed The Abandoned not too long ago and it’s still with me. I just wasn’t expecting that much from it. It sounds predictable, two nightwatchmen, watchpeople? Whatever. There’s Jason Patrick’s character who is the experienced, just there to collect a check guy and then the new girl, played by Louisa Krause. Their jobs are to sit and watch an old abandoned building in the middle of the night. One of them does the rounds, while the other sits and watches on the surveillance camera’s. Sounds ripe for some spooky stuff to happen. It does happen but there’s more to it than what we see. There’s a real story here and it comes out of nowhere. You think you’re watching a spooky movie and BAM! There’s a bit of mystery that begins to unfold and it’s just so well done. A good story that doesn’t sacrifice anything to be told. Scary, creepy, fun.

Here’s a link to the original review if interested http://www.badhorrormovies.com/abandoned/

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Near Dark 1987

A small town son of a farmer joins up with a group of vampires when he falls for a sexy and mysterious wanderer.

Two of the best things to happen in 1987, Near Dark came out and I graduated from high school. Near Dark is one of the best vampires movies ever. I have no doubt it would have been a big horror movie hit of the year and most would know the movie by name. However, Near Dark came out in October. Perfect timing for a horror movie. But, The Lost Boys had come out back in July and Near Dark just got overshadowed by it. Also, some other classics came out that year as well, A Nightmare on Elm Street 3, Evil Dead 2, The Monster Squad, Hellraiser and Predator.

What made Near Dark great was it’s simplicity. Boy meets girl. The dialogue was so good. On the verge of beeing campy, but not. One of the lines I still remember to this day, “I hate’em when they ain’t been shaved.” The vampires were gritty. They were grunge before there was grunge. These vampires, played with their food. It’s a must see and a must for any horror fans collection.

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Final Thoughts

I have tried to write this article several times. Something always comes up. I had the first 5 films added. In fact I had all seven, but the last two I had in there, I actually added before I saw the movies. I was sure that I was going to like them based on reviews I had heard. Then I sat down to watch them and was disappointed in them. So they I removed them and thought long and hard about what should replace them. I went I stood before my horror movie collection and thought to myself, what do I have that needs to be seen? I soon realized, dozens! So I picked two of them, one is recent, the other I dove into my horror past.

The Autopsy of Jane Doe 2016 | Bad Horror Movies

The Autopsy of Jane Doe 2016 | Bad Horror Movies

The Autopsy of Jane Doe 2016 Poster Image

Father and son coroners find themselves pulled into a mystery of what killed Jane Doe, the beautiful young woman found dead and partial buried in the basement of what appears to some kind of murder suicide. It’s up to the

The Autopsy of Jane Doe centers around a beautiful young woman who is found partially buried in the basement of an apparent brutal murder suicide. The catch, Who is Jane Doe and what does she have to do with it? Her discovery seems almost unrelated to the murder suicide that happened upstairs. The coroners job is to determin cause of death. The further the father & son team get into the autopsy of Jane Doe the more they come to realize that how she died isn’t as important as who and what she is.

Director: André Øvredal
Writers: Ian B. Goldberg (as Ian Goldberg), Richard Naing
Stars: Emile Hirsch, Brian Cox, Ophelia Lovibond and Olwen Catherine Kelly as Jane Doe

I really enjoyed the The Autopsy of Jane Doe. I wasn’t expecting to enjoy it as much as I did. I will say that it starts off with all the intrigue of films like Silence of the Lambs. Unfortunately it doesn’t sustain this level throughout the rest of the film. The Autopsy of Jane Doe is more about the the who and what Jane Doe is. It’s the journey in getting there that is what sets this film apart. Once the mystery is solved, the film goes from something special into just an above average horror film. What I am trying to say is that this movie could have been great. It was good, don’t get me wrong. It’s got some really good creepy scenes and it’s so interesting until the final act. Scary, weird, and morbidly fascinating. It’s just that the final act of the film, it’s where it goes from great, slightly above average stuff we’ve all seen before. It’s just hurt by not having as strong an ending as the rest of the movie.

Olwen Catherine Kelly, Brian Cox and Emile Hirsch

Things that make The Autopsy of Jane Doe great. The acting. Brian Cox is exceptional in everything he does. Emile Hirsch, I don’t really know him from anything he’s done. Though looking at his IMDb page, he’s in a few movies that are my list to see. It also stars Ophelia Lovibond. I LOVE her! Though her character isn’t around much, it was a surprise to see. Many will recognize her from as Alex from Guardians of the Galaxy. However, I recognized her as Kitty from Elementary. Just a strong cast in every role.

The story is so interesting. The suspense slowly builds and it’s just so oddly fascinating. What killed this beautiful young women? Who they hell is she? What in the hell happened to her. As the father and son coroner team discover as the autopsy progresses, the more interesting and creepy it gets. The storm brewing outside is matching the storm brewing on the inside. As they progress, strange this start happen. Unexpected sounds here and there. Those eerie freezer doors open for no explainable reason. Have some of the corpses reanimated?

Strange and creepy things are afoot at the morgue.

Now, the few things that I didn’t like. The Autopsy of Jane Doe has one scene that was so predictable, I saw it coming from mikes away. it was so obvious what was about to happen that it ruined any emotional impact the scene should have had. I sat there knowing it was coming and it just took me out of the film and that’s sad because it should have been a powerful scene and instead the emotional moment was ruined by its predictability.

This is how the third act ends. The Autopsy of Jane Doe was so great until this moment. The forth and final act, wasn’t bad. Had some interesting moments in it but with the conclusion of the 3rd act it becomes obvious this is now just a horror movie. Sure, we knew that going into the movie but it was on another level up until this point.

In conclusion, I really do strongly recommend The Autopsy of Jane Doe. It’s creepy with a slow methodical suspense that builds and draws you into the mystery. It’s got a little for everyone. It’s got gore, a solid and very interesting story with a lot of creepiness. It’s a must have for any horror fan’s collection

Sadly, The Autopsy of Jane Doe, at this point isn’t going to be released on DVD and Blu-ray until May 2nd, 2017. The good news is that you can rent on Amazon right now! I sincerely recommend it.

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The Monster 2016 Quick Review

The Monster 2016 Quick Review

The Monster Poster Image
A struggling mother battling her inner monsters. A young daughter who has been forced to grow up way too soon. On road trip they encounter a monster when their car breaks down on deserted road in the woods.

I’m going to try and make this a quick review. It’s going to be difficult because this movies deserves so much more time than I can afford to take a the moment. The cast of The Monster amazing. Some of the best performances you will see in a horror movie. The storytelling is so well done. The story itself has beed done before. An accident on a road trip, the car breaks down on a deserted road and then there’s a monster, creature, bad guys, pick your poison. The story’s been done before. What makes this different is the story telling. I expected a creature feature when I started watching. I got so much more than that.

The acting is what stands out the most so I will start there. Zoe Kazan is so amazing and so real in the movie. Most of all, she is completely believable. She plays a way too young mother struggling with bad relationships and alcohol. There wasn’t a moment in the film when I didn’t completely believe her. Then there’s young woman who plays her daughter. Played with equal brilliance by Ella Ballentine. The same can be said about her performance. A young pee-teen girl who loves her mother so much but has been forced to become the parent in the relationship. Ella Ballentine already has some credits to her name and I have no doubt she will become a household name over the next few years.

Zoe Kazan The Monster Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you!!!

“‘Fuck You! Fuck You!’ this scene was so brutal and so honest it game the chills, I literally cringed.”

Now before I continue with all the love I have for The Monster, I just want to critique a few things that bothered me. There’s a couple of things that bothered me. First up. After the crash/car breakdown, mom let’s the daughter out of the car on a rainy night to go talk the tow truck who is working on their car. Not only does she let her do this. It was mom’s idea. She tells her daughter to go do it. Not a good idea. It’s a horror movie. Tow truck driver just happens to show up? Just not a good idea. I’m sure the writer would give the excuse that mom is dependent on the daughter. That mom doesn’t even recognize the level of her dependency or some other psychological excuse. Though that may in fact be the case, it didn’t play that way to me. It just played out as mom is an idiot. And, she’s not an idiot. Like most addicts, she’s self absorbed. A person that can’t get past her own struggles to see all that she actually has right in front her. Mom loves her daughter and I just don’t think in this situation she would have daughter do this as casually as she would ask her to grab her another beer from the fridge.

Second issue, I can’t get into too much detail about because I don’t want to spoil it. So bare with me here as I try to explain, while being a vague as possible about the actual circumstances. At one point, one of the characters, gives up. Thinks there’s no way out of the situation. This just after discovering a useful tool for protection, a tool that gives them hope for survivial. Their survival is just a few hours away. All they have to do is wait it out. It won’t be easy but they now have some protection, they can survive this. It’s so obvious they can survive this situation. But no, instead, a ridiculous plan is hatched. It’s supposed to be a moment of realization and clarity for a character, I get that. Again, it doesn’t play that way. It plays as if the character is an idiot.

Okay, now that we have that out of the way. Let me tell you all about the writing and directing and that makes The Monster one of the best creature features you are likely to see for a while. The writing. I know, I just shit on a few things the writer did in this story. But, that was it. The rest of the story had so much depth. I truly mean that. This isn’t one of those Syfi originals. This is a well made movie with rich, fully developed characters.

The story goes from present day to flashbacks. We get to see the relationship develop between mother and daughter. The things that led them to where they are emotionally. It was such a pleasant surprise. You just don’t expect that kind of depth in a movie like this. It made the movie that much more interesting and entertaining.

Then there’s direction. Well thought out camera angles. The suspense so is so well down. I don’t know how much of it is direction or the cinematography? So just in case, let me say this, Julie Kirkwood was the cinematographer on this film. Brilliant!

Cinematographer - Julie Kirkwood

My favorite thing about this film is the practical effects. If you’ve read any of my reviews or rants you know that I think CGI is overrated. It has it’s place. But, a good creature feature doesn’t rely on CGI it’s monsters are real. The Monster delivers a real monster that is terrifying! What’s great about the design is the believability. It could be a monster but it could also be some kind of deformed or mutilated creature, like a bear. It makes you wonder, “What is it?!” and that is exactly what a good creature feature does. Practical effects when done right add a sense of realism you just don’t always get with CGI. Sure, if you have a Jurassic World budget but even they still use practical effects.

In conclusion, this is a must see. Great acting, strong characters, great special effects and directions all wrapped up in a story that brings you in and let’s you care about the people you see on the screen. Just a good solid film. I think even those that don’t normally enjoy “horror” movies would enjoy this for the mother daughter story alone. The story between the mother and daughter is very real and can be hard to watch at times but it is written and played with such brutal honesty that it forces you to care about these these two.

Side note, I failed. Not a quick review. My bad.

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The Walking Dead Season 7 Premier

The Walking Dead Season 7 Premier

The Walking Dead Season 7 Poster Image

The Walking Dead Season 7 premier starts off where season 6 ended. Negan has captured Rick and several others. Negan has promised to kill on of Rick’s group in the season 7 premier we sadly discover who was chosen.

Last night AMC aired The Walking Dead season 7 premier and this review/opinion is going to have some spoilers so if you continue reading, it’s on you. I also want to say that my review of this episode starts off expressing my disappointment in last season’s finale. Then I dive into my mixed emotions on this episode of The Walking Dead. One hand, I am truly disappointed in it for cheating me out of the emotional punch it could have had. On the other hand, there were so many things I truly enjoyed about the episode. I start with the bad things before I get to the good, is what I am saying.

I wrote another review/opinion on the season 6 finale way back when it aired and it wasn’t very positive. I am still fucking pissed off at the way they handled the cliffhanger. I hate cliffhangers, they are designed for stupid people. Cliffhangers are a shows way of saying, “We don’t trust and respect you enough to come back and watch next season so we’re going to leave you hanging until then.” It’s this kind of bullshittery that usually keeps me from watching any TV live. Normally, I wait until the season is over and the next season has begun. This way I avoid cliffhangers altogether.




Unfortunately, I work online. Social media is a big part of my work. The Walking Dead is too big a show. Each week the shows title is trending and it’s guaranteed that some asshole will tweet a spoiler. Beth’s death for example, AMC tweeted that shit out before the fucking show even aired in my goddam time zone. I learned then, I have to watch this show week to week like everyone else.

Anyways, to get back on topic here. I was fucking furious at the way they handled the season 6 finale and their ridiculous excuses for why they did it. Their excuses made no sense at all. Part of me lost interest in the show. I was almost okay with never watching the show again. If I never watched the show again, all the characters I love would never die. Everyone would be safe. I seriously considered that. However, social media would fuck that up. Someone would spill the beans and ruin the happy little bubble I would have created. Knowing this, I decided to watch season 7 of The Walking Dead last night.

It was odd watching it because I had a detached myself from the show. It had been several months without the gang in my life. I wasn’t as emotionally distraught over the tragic deaths of two beloved characters. Had those deaths occurred in the finale last season, as promised, I would have been devastated. All season leading up to a powerful finale with the death of Abraham and Glenn. I would have been in tears. Watching last night, it just didn’t have the emotional impact for me.

I think maybe it’s because I had done my morning all summer long. I’ve had months and months to come to terms with the fact that someone is going to die. I even sort of expected more than one person would die in the episode because there was no way everyone in Rick’s group would sit still and let a friend die. As I reflect on it, I don’t know if the writers did me a favor or not. In some ways I am thankful. In others, I am still very angry about it and maybe even a little more so now. I feel as though I was cheated yet again. I missed out on that epic emotional outcome because of that detachment.

Don’t get me wrong, it was still devastating and heartbreaking but it could have been more powerful. In stead, what last night’s episode did for me was drag on. It spent half the episode still teasing us with who may have died. It took me out of the moment because I felt I was being manipulated again. I understand that’s the point of every show, I really do. It’s just that the best shows manipulate you in ways that flow. The Walking Dead just seems to have given up on that. Instead if letting the stories flow, they are resorting to cheap manipulations.

Getting all of the above out of the way, I have to say that it was a strong episode. The acting was perfection. Greg Nicotero’s direction was impeccable and his special makeup effects were incredible. Glenn’s death makeup was so haunting and disturbing, it will stick with me forever. Not only was it so incredibly real looking, having dabbled in effects makeup in my youth, it was an inspired and brilliant piece of work. If that doesn’t win Greg Nicotero an Emmy, then I will lose all respect for them.

Maggie (Lauren Cohen) The Walking Dead Season 7 Premier

I chose not to show the makeup for Glenn. I don’t want to ruin it on the rare chance anyone hasn’t seen it yet. So, Maggie’s reaction will have to suffice.

Though it is regrettable that the deaths last night didn’t have the full emotional impact on me that they should have, maybe that’s a good thing? I’d probably be walking around today completely depressed over the loss of Glenn and Abraham. Having no life, I take my movies and TV very seriously.

In conclusion, I am still pissed off at the way the producers and writers chose to handle the finale last season. Though I wasn’t thrilled with the way they continued on with obvious manipulation in the season 7 premier of The Walking Dead. It was, otherwise a well made and well thought out episode. I got where there were going with it. I understand why they did what they did in this episode.

Though I have mixed emotions about this episode. I am trying to separate what I wanted to see with what I did see. What I wanted to see I believe would have made for a better and more emotional episode. What I did see was still a strong show with plenty of emotion and gore on a level that was simply heartbreaking and tragically gruesome.

I highly recommend watching it to anyone that has night seen it.

Special Note, you can watch the full episode on AMC’s site right now. No need to login or sign up for anything. Watch the Season 7 Premier of The Walking Dead here.

One last thing. I’d like to make note of Talking Dead hosted by Chris Hardwick. I truly believe the man is my spirit animal. I always watch Talking Dead. It’s like a much needed therapy session after the sometimes emotionally difficult episodes. It sounds silly but it’s so true. It’s obvious he is a true fan of the show and cares about the characters as much as we do. It helps knowing that no matter what transpires on The Walking Dead we will all be able to get through it together during Talking Dead. He hosts the show with compassion while still managing to make us smile and even laugh. It’s like a pallet cleansing we need so desperately.

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The Sighting Quick Review

The Sighting Quick Review

The Sighting Poster Image

The Sighting takes place a year after seven local students are murdered at a lake house. Two recent high school graduates decide to drive up from Michigan to Canada. They take a shortcut and soon discover the terrifying truth behind one of the worlds most popular cyptids.

I want to start by saying The Sighting is one of those movies that I am glad I didn’t give up on. The Sighting opens up and looks like it’s going to be a found footage movie. I am just not a fan of them and really have to be in the mood for one and I am almost never in the mood. Thankfully, it isn’t. Also, one of my pet peeves is when characters do stupid things. There’s more than a few characters doing stupid things in this movie. However, the movie begins to redeem itself towards the end.

One of the things a movie can do to help win me over is to surprise me. The Sighting did that. It actually tells a story. It gives an explanation of one of the oldest North American urban legends. A lot of the dumb things the main character Travis, played by writer directer Adam Pitman does, later begins to make sense or maybe it doesn’t? In any case, it goes from a simply stereotypical creature feature to something a little more interesting and I loved that about The Sighting.

I am not going to blow sunshine up your ass and say this is an amazing movie. It’s not but it’s good if you give it the chance. The Sighting has a very low rating on IMDb and that’s a shame because it’s actually an above average movie. Halfway through it admittedly I wasn’t happy with it but I felt that was almost intentional on the part of the writer. Like Adam Pitman is setting the expectations low so you don’t see the story twist coming. It makes the second half a lot more interesting. When you realize that it’s quite possible that not everything is as it appears to be.

It’s got some nudity. Not much but as a lonely, creepy middle-age man that loves boobs, it put a naughty smile on my smile on my face. I’d like to personally thank Jasmine John for that. Not a lot of gore but what’s there is well done done well for the most part.  I think if you give the movie a change you’ll like it. It’s not a crazy teen movie and it’s not an academy award winner. It’s a solid movie with an original story and that makes better than most horror movies out there.

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Thanatomorphose 2013 Review

Thanatomorphose 2013 Review

Thanatomorphose Poster Image

Thanatomorphose is about a young woman who wakes up one day showing signs of decay. Thanatomorphose is a French word meaning the visible signs of an organism’s decomposition caused by death.

I really wanted to like Thanatomorphose as mentioned in my last review I am in the middle of writing a new article about underrated films. I made a list of 7 films, actually, it was more than 7. There were two movies I put on that list that I had not scene but have wanted to for a while now. Deadgirl and Thanatomorphose. I was positive I was going to enjoy both these movies. So positive that I added them to the article. I am still working on the article but I thought these two films would be perfect. So with the long weekend upon us I planned to spend my Friday night watching these two films so that I could complete my list this morning.

Instead of completing my new article, I have to write this review because I can’t keep Thanatomorphose on my list of underrated horror movies. This movie was so boring I kept pausing it thinking it had be near over and it never was. At one point, I was sure it had been like a half-hour since the last time I checked, it had only been 11 fucking minutes! So, I am here sipping my coffee writing this review instead of completing my article on underrated horror movies.

I don’t plan to completely shit on this movie. There are some good qualities. Mainly when it finally faded to black and the credits rolled. But, before I get into what was good about the movie, let me discuss why this movie failed. So many reasons, I don’t have time to discuss them all.

First, the acting wasn’t that good. It just wasn’t. Second, it was too dark. I don’t mean the content, I mean, it was just too dark to make shit out most of the time. I am sure there were some really good effects but they were lost in the low light and that is a true shame. Third, the story. At face value, this had everything going for it. What a fun, dark idea for a story. Sadly, there really wasn’t a story. It was mostly, all visual, little dialog and zero fucking explanation as to what the fuck was going on.

For example. There are a couple of times our main character Laura (Kayden Rose) actually refuses to go to the hospital. This makes no fucking sense at all. But, I can accept it, she’s depressed, feeling nothing and so on. That’s fine but a few times throughout the film, her guy friends stop by and see how fucking terrible she looks. They offer to take her to the hospital. She refuses, she seduces them, they leave. Being a guy. Being single. Always horny. I get it. But, there a came a time when it was just time to call 911. Seriously, if you’re holding on to woman’s head, wrapped in a bandage while she blows you and it starts to bleed, it’s time to call for help. You want to drop your load first, fine. But, then you call for an ambulance, stat!

Thanatomorphose No I'm Fine

Just got done having sex walks to the bathroom and passes out. Boyfriend be like, I’ll just put her back to bed and leave. I’m sure she’s fine.

Yet another example of poor story telling. At one point, out of nowhere, there was scene I don’t understand. As it happened, I thought, “Oh, shit, I get it!” Then, what I thought they were doing, wasn’t what they were doing. It appeared to me for like a second that maybe she was already dead and on the autopsy table living out the end in her mind. All that we had seen had just been a delusion. Nope! It was just a weird delusion she had while past out, continuing to decay and refusing to do fuck all about it.

At one point I started laughing. Thanatomorphose became in many ways like that scene in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. The scene where the Knight keeps lopping off parts of the guy guarding the bridge. Meanwhile the guard is shouting back, “It’s just a flesh wound!” This film was sadly, tedious and boring.

I wanted to like it but it literally was just a movie about a girl that for some unknown reason just started to decay. There was no other story. There was never an explanation. You are left sitting there for more than an hour and a half wondering if anything is every going to happen other than watching shit ooze from her body and fucking the two men her in her life. That’s it. And, none of it was interesting to watch. It was slow going. Even the fucking sex was boring.

Thanatomorphose She's Fine

Ok, she’s blowing me but her head is in bandage that’s bleeding on me. Do I call 911? Nah, I’ll finish then leave awkwardly.

Now, onto the good. Some of the special effects were well done. Mostly the bruising on Laura at the beginning. I thought those were really well done. The more serious her decay became, I felt it got a little too muddy. However, I think it was just the bad lighting that made the make up look more like they just covered her in ooze instead of doing a real makeup.

Kayden Rose’s acting at times was pretty good. At other times, it came across as awkward and forced. But, I have to give her credit. She is full frontal naked a lot. I mean, seriously. I frame-by-frammed it once because I thought, I saw something in a flash and I couldn’t believe she was really that naked, and yes she was. That takes an amazing level of commitment. Kayden Rose has so much potential. I can’t wait to see what she does next.

Also noteworthy. There are a few moments of male full frontal nudity in Thanatomorphose. That too takes commitment. It’s just that when compared to what Kayden Rose must have endured shooting this movie, it’s just doesn’t even compare.

One last note. The writer and director Éric Falardeau tried to do something interesting here. As much as I think this movie failed. I have to give him credit for the attempt. I would love to see this movie remade but with an effort to actually tell a story. There really wasn’t a story here. I think the goal was to let the decay just be the story. If that’s the case, it still failed. There had to be a reason why Laura just let it happen other than she was feeling void of feeling or depressed. If the audience is left to wonder what’s going and why the entire time they get bored. It’s nice to let the audience work for it a little but at some point, you have to show your cards and Éric Falardeau as the writer and director never of Thanatomorphose never does and that’s a real shame.

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