Bad Horror Movies

Saving you from bad horror movies

Welcome to Bad Horror Movies

The Bad Horror Movies GuyBad horror movies, we’ve all seen them in the theaters and at home. Rarely do we ever say, “What I’d really like to do is see a bad horror movie tonight.” This is where I come in. If you’re about to watch that movie on Amazon Prime, Hulu, Netflix or buy that special edition, director’s cut with new bonus features maybe I can let you know if it’s worth watching. Because, let’s be honest, what the world needs is another blogger offering his or her unsolicited opinions.

What makes me so qualified to review movies? Glad you asked. First, I have 3 whole years of high school drama. Not only did I actually letter in it, I am a life long Thespian as well. Though I have never acted professionally or amateurly for that matter. I’ve never directed professionally either. But… I was able to predict the total failures, most recently of, God’s of Egypt, Warcraft, Jupiter Ascending, The Legend of Tarzan and The BFG. I saw their failures before even seeing the previews. Watched the previews and just new they were going to bomb. So obviously this makes me like an expert unlike those other hacks that like went to college and studied film and stuff.

So here’s what you need to know about my reviews. Most of the times they are more rant than review. I use foul language that may offend small children, pussies and uptight people with no sense of humor. Most of all you should know that I love horror movies. Good horror movies and bad horror movies. If I shit all over a horror movie, I explain why. I try to give all movies a chance. All horror movies deserve a chance. Especially, the low budget horror movies. And remember, just because I hate it, you might very well love it. My goal is to just give you the heads up. Special note, just because I’ve reviewed it here doesn’t mean I hate it or that it’s a bad horror movie. Many of my reviews are of horror movies that I liked. I don’t just list the bad ones.

Now that I got all that rambling out of the way I hope that I can save you from all those bad horror movies.

  • Objective/Fairness of Reviews 87%
  • Ability To Call Epic Failures 97%
  • Chance of F-Bombs being dropped during a review 99%
  • Number of Positive reviews because I’m crushing on the actress 11%
  • Likelyhood I will stalk… I mean, “follow” her on Twitter 100%

Recent Reviews & Rants

The Levenger Tapes 2013 Quick Review

The Levenger Tapes centers around 3 college aged kids driving out to the middle of nowhere to stay at a cabin owned by one of their parents. We know this because detectives have found video tapes of the kids. They are forced to watch every minute of the tapes in the...

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Ghostbusters 2016 Review

The Ghostbusters reboot. Following a ghost invasion of Manhattan, paranormal enthusiasts Erin Gilbert and Abby Yates, nuclear engineer Jillian Holtzmann, and subway worker Patty Tolan band together to stop the otherworldly threat. Director: Paul Feig Writer/s: Katie...

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The Dead Room 2015 Quick Review

The Dead Room is about a 3 person team of ghost hunters hired by an insurance company (I think) to investigate the home a family head has recently fled. The team consists of two scientist/skeptics and psychic. Soon the presence makes itself known and 2/3rds of the...

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The Ratings System and Parents

Being a parent of two grown children I've learned a lot about the importance of the ratings system. I didn't get to have a lot of time with my kids during their younger years but I a lot of the times we did get to spend together, we spent watching movies. When my son...

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The Boy 2016 Quick Review

The Boy is about a young American woman whose taken a job in the UK as a nanny while the parents go on holiday for the season. All she has to do is follow the rules to keep him happy but this is no ordinary boy. Brahms is a porcelain doll and his parents treat him as...

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Krampus 2015 Quick Review

Krampus is about a suburban family gets together a few days before Christmas and no one seems to have the Christmas spirit except for a boy and his grandmother. The boy inadvertently summons an ancient demon known as Krampus. The demon and his minions go about...

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The Other Side of the Door 2016 Quick Review

The Other Side of the Door is about a young couple living in India and trying to come to terms with the loss of a child. The mother feels terrible guilt over the loss of her son and is told of an ancient ritual that will allow her to talk to her son one last time to...

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Sharkansas Women’s Prison Massacre 2016 A Quick Review

Sharkansas Women's Prison Massacre 2016 A Quick Review... Sharkansas Women's Prison Massacre is about prehistoric sharks that get released from beneath the earth's crust after fracking accident. The target a group of women that have escaped from prison who have become...

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Devil’s Tower 2014 Quick Review

Devil's Tower 2014 Quick Review... Devil's Tower is a story about an abused teen who moves into an old apartment complex only to find that some of the inhabitants have gone missing and a vengeful, zombie creating ghost is responsible. Look, I'm not going to say this...

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The Zombie Fallout Music Video Teaser Is Here

The Zombie Fallout Music Video Teaser Is Here... If you unaware of Zombie Fallout, it's a series of books written by Mark Tufo. It's about an ex-marine germaphobe with OCD and his family who all get caught in the zombie apocalypse. The story is fresh, gory, sincere...

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Really Disappointed With The Walking Dead Season Finale

Really Disappointed With The Walking Dead Season Finale... I don't know if I am the only one that feels this way but what a disappointment the The Walking Dead Season finale turned out to be. Seriously, waiting months for Negan's arrival, being warned that someone is...

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Annabelle 2014 A Quick Review

Annabelle 2014 A Quick Review... Annabelle is about a creepy looking doll that becomes possessed after some some devil worshipers break into a young couple's home and try to summon a demon. The ritual goes badly, some blood drips on the doll causing it's evil...

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Some Amazon Horror Movie Deals and Steals

Some Amazon Horror Movie Deals and Steals... I just recently picked some great stuff on Blu-ray at amazon.com and I wanted to not only share but also point on some great amazon horror movie deals and steals they have going on right now. I don't know how long this...

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Howl 2015 My Quick Review

Howl 2015... Howl is about a group of passengers on a train, stopped in the middle of nowhere are attacked by a creature and they must either band together to fight it or die one by one. This direct to video movie should have been more popular. It's really good....

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Plan 9 2015 My Quick Review

Plan 9 2015... "Plan 9 is the story of Nilbog, a small town with a big story. The beginning of an invasion! These aliens have a different plan for the inhabitants of Earth. To resurrect their dead as their own army set with but one goal: to wipe out all mankind! This...

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The Forest 2016 Review

The Forest 2016 Review... When Sara's sister Jess, goes missing in the Suicide Forest she sets out to find her. After being warned not to go into the forest, she goes anyways. The Forest had so much potential that regrettably never came to be. The scares didn't work,...

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Cabin Fever 2016 Review

Cabin Fever 2016 Review... Cabin Fever is remake of the 202 film of the same name. Like the original it's about a group of twenty-somethings who decide to vacation at a cabin in the woods. But, there's a catch, there's no psycho killer or monster. Instead they face...

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