Bad Horror Movies

Saving you from bad horror movies

Welcome to Bad Horror Movies

The Bad Horror Movies GuyBad horror movies, we’ve all seen them in the theaters and at home. Rarely do we ever say, “What I’d really like to do is see a bad horror movie tonight.” This is where I come in. If you’re about to watch that movie on Amazon Prime, Hulu, Netflix or buy that special edition, director’s cut with new bonus features maybe I can let you know if it’s worth watching. Because, let’s be honest, what the world needs is another blogger offering his or her unsolicited opinions.

What makes me so qualified to review movies? Glad you asked. First, I have 3 whole years of high school drama. Not only did I actually letter in it, I am a life long Thespian as well. Though I have never acted professionally or amateurly for that matter. I’ve never directed professionally either. But… I was able to predict the total failures, most recently of, God’s of Egypt, Warcraft, Jupiter Ascending, The Legend of Tarzan and The BFG. I saw their failures before even seeing the previews. Watched the previews and just new they were going to bomb. So obviously this makes me like an expert unlike those other hacks that like went to college and studied film and stuff.

So here’s what you need to know about my reviews. Most of the times they are more rant than review. I use foul language that may offend small children, pussies and uptight people with no sense of humor. Most of all you should know that I love horror movies. Good horror movies and bad horror movies. If I shit all over a horror movie, I explain why. I try to give all movies a chance. All horror movies deserve a chance. Especially, the low budget horror movies. And remember, just because I hate it, you might very well love it. My goal is to just give you the heads up. Special note, just because I’ve reviewed it here doesn’t mean I hate it or that it’s a bad horror movie. Many of my reviews are of horror movies that I liked. I don’t just list the bad ones.

Now that I got all that rambling out of the way I hope that I can save you from all those bad horror movies.

  • Objective/Fairness of Reviews 87% 87%
  • Ability To Call Epic Failures 97% 97%
  • Chance of F-Bombs being dropped during a review 99% 99%
  • Number of Positive reviews because I’m crushing on the actress 11% 11%
  • Likelyhood I will stalk… I mean, “follow” her on Twitter 100% 100%

Recent Reviews & Rants

The Hallow 2015 Quick Review

The Hallow 2015 Quick Review... The Hallow is about a young couple and their baby who have just moved into a very old house on the edge of a forest in Ireland. Demonic looking creatures have taken notice of them and they are forced to fight for their lives. I thought...

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Why You No Post Lately?

Why You No Post Lately? It's a good question. The answer is very simple. I've been working really hard at not making any money. I am web designer and recently spent some time redesigning my website for Starry Night Web Designs. It's needed updating for years now and I...

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My Problems with The Walking Dead Last Night

My Problems with The Walking Dead Last Night... Last night's episode, The Next World drove me crazy. I would go as far as to say that many aspects of it not just frustrated me but actually pissed me off a little.  So many problems with The Walking Dead last night....

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Zombie Apocalypse 2011

Zombie Apocalypse 2011 Zombie Apocalypse was produced by Syfy and The Asylum and it's rated R. The film centers around a few survivors of a world wide viral outbreak that has of course caused the Zombie Apocalypse. These few survivors are making their way to a port in...

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Hold Your Breath 2012 Review

Hold Your Breath "Hold Your Breath - A group of friends on a weekend camping trip find themselves being picked off one by one when one member of the group refuses to abide by the urban myth that you can breathe in evil spirits when passing cemeteries." IMDb Hold Your...

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Inanimate aka Harbinger Down 2015 Review

Inanimate aka Harbinger Down 2015 "Inanimate aka Harbinger Down centers around a few grad students and their professor who have booked passage on a crab boat to study some wales. They soon discover something floating in the ice in the middle of the Bering Sea....

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The Inhabitants 2015 Review

The Inhabitants "THE INHABITANTS revolves around a young couple that gets more than they bargained for when they renovate a neglected bed and breakfast in New England. After a series of disturbing events, the husband begins to suspect that something evil is lurking...

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Jack Brooks Monster Slayer 2007

Jack Brooks Monster Slayer 2007... "Jack Brooks Monster Slayer is a Canadian comedy horror monster movie produced by Brookstreet Pictures. The film was directed Jon Knautz and stars Trevor Matthews, Robert Englund and Rachel Skarsten. The film is about a plumber named...

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I Feel Like The Walking Dead Cheated Me A Little

I Feel Like The Walking Dead Cheated Me A Little... So I kinda feel like the The Walking Dead cheated me a little.  I am thrilled Glenn isn't Dead.  But, at the same time I feel a little cheated.  We all saw Glenn fall from the top of that garbage bin.  His feet would...

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The Walking Dead: Morgan Needs To Die

The Walking Dead: Morgan Needs To Die... How's that for a clickbait title!? After last Sunday's brilliant Morgan episode I am further convinced that Morgan needs to die.  I love Lennie James portrayal of Morgan but unless he changes his new found pacifist philosophy,...

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Mothman 2010

Mothman 2010... Synopsis - A few college aged kids spend the night at a lake.  One of the kid's younger teen brother is unwantingly tagging along and is accidentally drowned by the group of friends.  10 years later the group is terrorized by the Mothman. ( I know...

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How They Resolve That Last Death On The Walking Dead

How They Can Resolve That Last Major Death on The Walking Dead... Before getting into that, this contains spoilers so if you haven't seen the last episode, "Thank You" of The Walking Dead then you should probably stop reading now. You've been warned. There has been so...

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We Are Still Here 2015

We Are Still Here... We Are Still Here is a supernatural horror movie that centers around a couple on the back side of middle age who have recently lost their grown son.  They've just bought an old home with a murderous history they new nothing about. I wanted to like...

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The Final Girls 2014

The Final Girls 2014... The Final Girls Synopsis as taken from the IMDb page. "A young woman grieving the loss of her mother, a famous scream queen from the 1980s, finds herself pulled into the world of her mom's most famous movie. Reunited, the women must fight off...

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Wolfcop 2014

Wolfcop 2014... Wolfcop tells the tale of an alcoholic cop that drinks so much, most mornings he has no memory of how he even got home.  He is eventually attacked and becomes not just a werewolf, but Wolfcop! I enjoy a good hood horror comedy. This movie made me...

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Some Thoughts on the The Walking Dead

Some Thoughts on the The Walking Dead... Just yesterday I sat down and watched the the final two episodes of last season's The Walking Dead. I of course followed each episode by watching Talking Dead. I see Talking Dead as good therapy. I then went on to watch this...

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The Hive 2015

The Hive 2015... The Hive is about an out of high school teen guy who awakes in a room having no memory of who he is or how he got there.  He's obviously, sick and infected with something and there's writing in chalk on the walls with clues as to who is he is.  It's a...

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