The Forest 2016 Review

The Forest 2016 Review

The Forest 2016 Review…

When Sara’s sister Jess, goes missing in the Suicide Forest she sets out to find her. After being warned not to go into the forest, she goes anyways.

The Forest had so much potential that regrettably never came to be. The scares didn’t work, we’ve all seen them before so none of it comes as a surprise. It’s basically, one of those movies where our protagonist is warned, or given rules to follow and then immediately ignores those rules and then wonders why bad things keep happening.

Almost everyone in The Forest is unsympathetic. Sara’s boyfriend seems like a real douchebag at first. How he lets the women he’s supposed to love basically head off on an expedition all by herself is beyond me? How can the local authorities not be doing more to find Jess? The film goes out of its way, it would seem, to make every character unlikable except for Taylor Kinney’s character Aiden. We like him right him from the start, maybe a little too much and that in itself brings on a certain amount of suspicion that it shouldn’t.

I wanted so much to like this movie. Being a fan of Destination Truth, I knew all about this Haunted Forest or Suicide forest because they show spent an episode there. It is a real place in Japan called the Aokigahara Forest that really lies at the foot of Mount Fuji and many people have gone their to commit suicide. How could the story tellers screw this up so bad?

The movie itself is well made, the acting is respectable but there is just not really anything original here. Even the ending, we see coming a mile away. I have to blame the writing here. As I said, so much potential with the subject matter and The Forest just fails to live up to it.

Natalie Dormer as Sara and Jess Price
Taylor Kinney as Aiden
Eoin Macken as Rob
Stephanie Vogt as Valerie
Yukiyoshi Ozawa as Michi
Rina Takasaki as Hoshiko
Noriko Sakura as Mayumi
Yûho Yamashita as Sakura
James Owen as Peter

Cabin Fever 2016 Review

Cabin Fever 2016 Review

Cabin Fever 2016 Review…

Cabin Fever is remake of the 202 film of the same name. Like the original it’s about a group of twenty-somethings who decide to vacation at a cabin in the woods. But, there’s a catch, there’s no psycho killer or monster. Instead they face off against a deadly skin eating bacteria.

I am not sure why this movie was made? It doesn’t add anything to the original story. It’s not scary, the gore doesn’t succeed in being as disturbing as in the first film. As I watched this film, the only thing I liked about it was that it had some strong female characters. It’s a well made movie, the acting is fine, the special effects are decent. But overall this was just a big waste of time. It took a fairly descent horror movie and remade into a stunning pile of crap which is a shame because the actors were great. Sadly, great acting can’t save a stagnant story. And, to top it all off, one of the characters is such a dumbass, so fucking stupid, that I couldn’t wait for his painful death to arrive. And, the fact that the rest of the people were actually friends with this dumbass, made me loose interest in the rest of them. It’s hard to care about the characters in a film when there’s very little to like about them.

If your looking for some well made gore and some gross-out scenes give this movie a go. Check it out on Amazon. But, if you’re looking for a good horror movie, skip it or watch the original.

Cast of Characters:
Samuel Davis as Paul
Gage Golightly as Karen
Matthew Daddario as Jeff
Nadine Crocker as Marcy
Dustin Ingram as Bert
Randy Schulman as Henry
George Griffith as Cadwell
Louise Linton as Deputy Winston
Timothy G. Zajaros as Connor/Grim
Aaron Trainor as Tommy
Derrick R. Means as Dennis
Teresa Decher as Emily

Mothman 2010

Mothman 2010

Mothman 2010…

Mothman Poster 2010Synopsis – A few college aged kids spend the night at a lake.  One of the kid’s younger teen brother is unwantingly tagging along and is accidentally drowned by the group of friends.  10 years later the group is terrorized by the Mothman. ( I know unwantingly isn’t really a word.  But, it works so I’m using it damn it.)

I need to completely honest about this review because I honestly stopped paying attention to this movie towards the end. I tried to pay attention but I just became so uninterested in the movie and so frustrated by how it started that not even the decent acting by the films strong cast could keep me interested.

You may be wanting to ask me, “Then why are you reviewing it if you didn’t watch it all the way through?” That is a really good question and one I asked myself before finally deciding to write this “review.”  I decided to write my review or let’s call it my “comments” on the film Mothman because I did sit through the whole movie and the fact that it failed so horribly to keep my attention is worthy of writing about it.

He's Dead Jim Mothman

He’s Dead Jim

There are many problems with this film.  First of which is the catastrophe of writing in the opening scene of Mothman.  The film opens with a group of friends, all seemingly around college age and one young teen. The younger brother character, Jamie, played by Alex Hardee is annoying but only mildly.  The group of college aged friends are stereo-typical at best. It is this opening scene that we learn Jamie isn’t really wanted on the trip but the poor older brother has been apparently forced to babysit him for the night.

Eventually, Jamie drowns in the lake while the group of friends are one by one pulling Jaime under water.  They are just teasing the kid, they don’t mean any harm.  They are just being the stereo-typical dumbass high school/college kids we are used to seeing in movies.  When they finally realize that Jamie hasn’t surfaced yet they quickly discover his body about 20 yards away and he is immediately pulled from the water and CPR is administered. The poorly administered CPR lasts for about 10 or 20 seconds and then young Jaime is pronounced dead.

It was so pathetic it hurt my head watching it.  No one there seemed qualified to make that kind of decision and the only person with almost any common sense was Kathrine Grant played by the always wonderful to watch accept in this movie Jewel Staite.  She is about to go get help when she is stopped.  It is suggested that that Jamie’s death could ruin all their lives. It tried to be that “I Know What You Did Last Summer” moment but failed miserably.

Jewel Staite in the Mothman

It’s been 10 years since I bashed a rock over a kids head and I’m still giving into pier pressure.

This moment failed because the whole concept was bad for this scene.  The kids death really was an accident.  Only a complete idiot would think that this would ruin their lives.  If the kids were stupid drunk, if there was an obvious amount of malicious intent, I could understand that train of thought.  But, there wasn’t.  Hell, a trained paramedic probably could save poor Jaime.  But nooo, it is decided that they must lie about his death. But, this is a horror movie and sadly I go with it.

Then, the next rash of stupidity in this opening scene happens.  The story that the friends decide to go with is that young Jamie had jumped into the lake and hit his head on a rock.  The problem is that it didn’t happen and there’s no such injury to his head.  The solution, grab a rock and have everyone in the group take a turn bashing the kid over the head with said rock.

Bashing his head with a rock is stupid on multiple levels.  First, he’s supposedly already dead.  So any injury sustained at this point will easily be determined at any autopsy as a  post-mortem injury.  In case the writers of this film read this, “post-mortem” means “after death.” So law enforcement are going to pretty much know right off the bat that the friends are lying about cause of death.

Second, all of them taking turns with the rock, bashing in the kids skull so they are all in it together Is stupid! If their fear was that if they called the police they would all be charged with murder over the child’s accidental drowning then they are already “in it together.” But, even more than that, they would already be in it together because of the felony murder rule.  Again, for the writers, should you ever read this review, look that up, it will help you be better writers.

These two main things are so frustratingly stupid that it became a challenge to sit through the rest of the movie.  I love Jewel Staite and up until I saw this movie, I honestly thought, her smile is so contagious that I could sit through any film no matter how bad it was and that smile would easily get through any film.  This movie ruined that as well.  No matter how adorable and sincere her smile is, it wasn’t enough.  It didn’t matter how good her acting was. Didn’t matter that everyone in this film did a really solid job acting, it was just so poorly written that it hurt to watch.

Oh, there was some bad acting on the part of Jewel Staite I have to point out, now that I think about it.  Towards the end she is firing a shotgun.  She is holding it awkwardly, firing it multiple times and not showing the slightest bit of kick to it.  It was laughable.  Other than that she was flawless as usual.  But, it’s this kind of attention to detail that made this movie absolute shit.  It was obvious the intent with this film was to just cash in on the legend of the Mothman.

Jewel Staite's Had About Enough Mothman

The only shotgun in history with absolutely no kick.

This script, as is, was horrible!  A bad script makes for a bad horror movie.  How anyone could have read it and said, “This is great, don’t change a thing, let’s make this movie!”  It boggles the mind!  There is so much fucking talent out there.  So many good scripts and when shit like this gets made and it frustrates the hell out of me.  A script doesn’t have to get every aspect of the law correctly in order to be a success.  By laws, I mean any laws, legal, spiritual, psychical and so on.  Doesn’t even have to get the laws of nature right.  The only thing it needs to do is just be somehow remotely plausible.

All it needed to do was have a believable opening scene with at least somewhat likable characters.  Instead, it made most of the characters unlikable and shallow.  Jewel Staite‘s character Kathrine Grant and her friend in the movie, Derek Carpenter played well enough by Connor Fox were likable but stupid enough to go along with cover-up.  So as much as you want to like them there’s not really any reason to. Once they took part in bashing the kids head in, I kinda lost all sympathy for them and this movie.

After shitting on this movie I think it’s important to point out some things that were good about it.  The special effects.  The practical effects were pretty impressive.  The CGI for the Mothman in it’s early on “ghostly” views I thought looked cheesy but the later effects of the creature looked pretty damn good.  And, as mentioned, for the most part, the acting was decent.  It’s not great but there’s only so much that can be done with a script like this. My recommendation, pass on this one. It’s a bad horror movie and it doesn’t even really have any scares in it.

Cast of Characters:
Directed by – Sheldon Wilson
Written by – Sonny Lee

Written by – Patrick Walsh
Jewel Staite – Katharine Grant
Connor Fox – Derek Carpenter
Susie Abromeit – Mindy
Michael Aills – Jared
Matty Ferraro – Casey
Jerry Leggio – Frank Waverly
T.W. Leshner – Richard
Jessica Erin Sylvia – Sally
Alex Hardee – Jamie

We Are Still Here 2015

We Are Still Here 2015

We Are Still Here…

We Are Still Here is a supernatural horror movie that centers around a couple on the back side of middle age who have recently lost their grown son.  They’ve just bought an old home with a murderous history they new nothing about.

I wanted to like We Are Still Here but I just couldn’t.  It starts off slow in an attempt to set up some character foundations and it fails miserably.  First off, the couple looks like they’re right out of the 70’s but it doesn’t say what year we’re in.  They’re driving an old car so that also suggests this isn’t “current day” we’re watching so we’re left to wonder is this just the “opening scene” and we will be taken to present day in a bit or is this just a movie that’s supposed to have taken place in the 70’s?  It’s already failed because the viewer is forced to wonder these things instead paying more attention to the story.

Primary Cast Of We Are Still Here 2015

I think we’re from the late 70’s but who knows. We thought it best to be ambiguous for no reason.

However, I could have overlooked the uncertainty of the time period.  What I can’t over look is characters doing stupid things.  There are signs that something’s going on with the house. The main couple simply rationalize away everything.  One of them being even being flat out warned from another couple that bad shit happened in the house and they need to get out.  All that pretty much just gets ignored.  The grieving mom begins to think that all the strange events are her dead son trying to connect with them. The grieving dad is in typical horror movie denial mode that at least one character in every horror movie has to be in for some reason.

It gets worse than that though.  They invite some family friends up for a few days.  These friends are very spiritually in-tune to these kinds of things so maybe they can make sense of it all. The free spirited couple invites their grown son and his new girlfriend out to the house as well.  Shortly after the spiritual couple arrives they all head into town for some dinner.  They do this knowing very well that the son and girlfriend are still on their way.

Shortly after they leave the son and girlfriend arrive to find a note on the door.  The note informs them that they can just come inside or drive back into town and find them for dinner.  Son and girlfriend walk in, no key needed I guess.  Soon they decide to get it on but are interrupted by a noise down the hall.  We see the ghostly figure for a moment that they don’t.  The son decides to investigate.  We know it’s a stupid move and we know he’s going to die.  Sure enough, not only does this dumb bastard go snooping down the hall he goes down into the dark fucking basement all alone.  Thinks it’s  a “racoon” making the noise.  What a dumbass. The good news is, the guy does die and the world now has one less stupid person in it.

Dummy We Are Still Here 2015

Don’t worry, I’m just going to check out that sound in this dark, creepy basement, in this house I’ve never been in before.

It’s this kind of stupidity that just ruins horror movies.  You can’t do things in horror movies like you can in regular movies.  The characters have got to act like they’ve at least seen a horror movie once in their lives.  And, deciding to walk down the creepy ass stairs, into an unknown creepy ass basement is just fucking stupid.

The movie doesn’t get any better from there.  We Are Still Here isn’t a horrible supernatural movie, there are at least a couple of cheep scares in it.  Things, jumping out at you and so on.  But, that’s all you really get from this movie. It’s full on disappointment from start to finish when it comes to scares, suspense and interest.

The only good things in this movie are Barbara Crampton as Anne Sacchetti, the grieving mother.  Her character is believable but the writing is weak at times and the husband Paul played by Andrew Sensenig just isn’t believable as her husband to me.  It’s not because of his acting, there’s just a lack of chemistry that makes each scene with them together seem awkward.  I understand they are grieving and there’s going to be an innate sense of awkwardness in their relationship but it doesn’t come off as that.  It just comes off as these are just two people who’ve never met until the day filming started.

That Had To Hurt We Are Still Here 2015

I seriously can’t believe they did this to Dr. Leah Brahms. Geordi La Forge is going to be heartbroken.

The other good thing about We Are Still Here are the ghosts.  They look incredible, they look scary and they look deadly.  I had no problem believing that they could do some serious harm. The overall special effects are more than decent in this movie and they certainly deserve some credit.

However, with the exception of the one or two times these ghosts jump out at you there’s nothing else scary in the movie. It’s all things that we’ve seen in nearly every supernatural horror movie for the past 100 years on films.  There’s nothing in it that is really creepy.  There’s no suspense and it’s pretty much completely predictable.

I have read a few reviews of the film and they all seemed positive.  I just don’t see it.  The movie is slow.  None of the character development, help to make you care about the characters.  It’s all just a bunch of people on film that you’re not really emotionally invested. This means, when bad things happen, you don’t really care.  It really is a bad horror movie and it makes me sad to this because it’s produced by Dark Sky Films and then have produced several horror movies that I really enjoyed and several more that I look forward to seeing.

As usual, check the movie out for yourself.  You don’t have to take my word for it.  Opinions do vary.

Cast of Characters:
Barbara Crampton as Anne Sacchetti
Andrew Sensenig as Paul Sacchetti
Larry Fessenden as Jacob Lewis
Lisa Marie as May Lewis
Monte Markham as Dave McCabe
Susan Gibney as Maddie
Michael Patrick as Harry Lewis
Kelsea Dakota as Daniella
Guy Gane III as Lassander Dagmar
Elissa Dowling as Eloise Dagmar
Zorah Burress as Fiona Dagmar
Marvin Patterson as Joe the Electrician
Connie Neer as Cat McCabe

Pod 2015

Pod 2015

Pod 2015…

Pod 2015Pod 2015 centers around a brother and sister who become concerned about their brother that has been living in a secluded cabin in the woods while trying to work through his addictions and PTSD.

The film has a found footage feel to it though it is not.  There’s a lot wrong with this movie.  Some of the acting at times isn’t great, coming off as awkward and forced.  However, I don’t think these are bad actors.  I think it was just bad writing more than anything else.  There are times when the acting is really good, really exciting and then the characters go and do stupid things that simply ruin the movie.

When it comes to acting, the three main characters have their highs and lows.  Martin, the brother with addiction issues (Brian Morvant) has some very intense moments where you can almost feel his frustration and paranoia.  His acting is very compelling and very believable.  But, then there’s times when Martin does some stupid things and no amount acting can make that go away. The sister Lyla played by Lauren Ashley Carter obviously has some talent but her character is absolutely annoying most of the time.  Crying and overreacting to almost everything that is thrown at her just really wears on you after a while.  Then we come to Ed, the concerned brother played by Dean Cates and the problems really show in the writing.  He comes off as cold, unemotional and dead inside most of the times.  Once again, a good story falls to the power of a badly written script.

Lauren Ashley Carter as Lyla

OMG! My brother just walked and saw me sleeping! I better scream like I’m Leatherface and Jason burst in the room!

It isn’t the story here that is bad, it’s the script.  The story itself is fascinating and has so much potential.  This movie could be remade into something terrifying with just a few script tweaks.  For starters, The sister Lyla shouldn’t be so damn annoying.  I shouldn’t be watching the movie and hoping the pod thing kills her just so I don’t have to watch her do and say any more stupid things.  For example, constantly being loud and screaming when you should be quiet so the alien doesn’t find you.  Or, getting into a car and not checking the backseat when you just noticed the driver side window is broken.  Or, just running down the street in the middle of the night while screaming like crazy.

Dean Cates as Ed and Lauren Ashley Carter as Lyla

No, you go ahead wait up there while I go down into the creepy basement alone.

It’s the actions the characters take that are the biggest problem with the movie.  You have to root for the characters and when none of them are really sympathetic or even smart it’s hard to care for them at all.  You need to be invested in the characters and each one of these characters were one dimensional stereo-types and that’s a shame. From start to finish the characters keep doing stupid things. They react to things in ways that just piss the viewer off.

Pod 2015 has so much potential to be a great alien movie and creature feature but at the end of the day this is just another bad horror movie that sadly isn’t worth watching for the one or two scares and shocks it provides.  If you like alien movies, maybe you’ll like it?  If you like conspiracy theory movies that don’t answer any questions, maybe you will like it?  If you like movies that end leaving you with more questions than answers, maybe you will like this movie?  However, I can’t recommend this film.  There’s just too much it got wrong to make it worth your while in my opinion.

Cast of Characters:
Lauren Ashley Carter as Lyla
Dean Cates as Ed
Brian Morvant as Martin
Larry Fessenden as Smith
John Weselcouch as John Boy

Hangar 10 2014

Hangar 10 2014

Hangar 10 2014…

Hangar 10 PosterHangar 10 is about two guys and a girl that decide to go investigate the place of the famous Rendlesham UFO incident. They bring with them only a video camera and a couple of backpacks. Things like their brains and personalities were left at home I guess.

This movie was so bad.  I don’t want to waste any more time on it than I already have so instead of writing a review, here’s the notes I took while watching it.

15 minutes into the movie and I’m bored already.
17 minutes into it and they’re killing me with the night vision bullshit.
At least the night vision has ended.
Oh crap, back to the night vision again.
33 Minutes in and it’s been slightly tolerable for about 10 minutes.
There’s 33 minutes left and I’m praying the aliens abduct me so I don’t have to sit through the rest of this film.
10 minutes left. This is so un scary.  So frustrating.  The character actions make no fucking sense.  I already know how it’s going to end.
I could be wrong but I think one of the characters was killed by an alien pine cone.
It’s finally over…  I want my hour and thirty minutes back.

On the positive side.  The acting wasn’t horrible and the visual effects were impressive.

Cast of Characters:
Robert Curtis … Gus
Abbie Salt … Sally
Danny Shayler  … Jake